Tag Archives: New Yorker cartoons

Three Easter facts That Will Blow Your Mind

Easter Fact One:
This weekend is Easter, and many of you are busy with the Pagan (or not Pagan depending on what side of the “War on Easter” you take) ritual of painting the unborn embryos of chickens in bright happy colors. Likewise, some of you may be tempted to partake in the eating of Cadbury Creme Eggs. This is not a Pagan ritual per say, but…large swaths of society will shun you if your are caught dating someone known to frequent Cadbury Creme Egg dens.

Easter Fact Two:
I tried my hand at submitting some Eater themed cartoons to the New Yorker, but as you can tell by the above title, it didn’t work out. I guess they didn’t want the hate mail.  last tupperwear1Easter Fact Three:
Bunnies are cute.

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Friday’s Closet of Misfit Gags

It’s been a while since I showed off a few of the gags from my massive pile of rejected New Yorker cartoons I have in my closet labeled “Closet of Rejected New Yorker Cartoons.” Some get resubmitted so I don’t like to show off too many, but one of them was topical and the other was offensive to Frasier fans. Thus, I think it’s safe to say the short painful lives of these gags are over. You could say they can now go back to Florida and throw away all their Paleo diet books.  Obama do

Frasierin2

 

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Halloween Through The Years (And A Rejected New Yorker Cartoon)

Here’s a Halloween themed cartoon rejected from the New Yorker for those who don’t want to read my long winded essay below.

gate to hell

A Night of Mischief And Vandalism

My father told me that when he was a kid, Halloween was very much a night of mischief and vandalism. Youngsters would shoot out streetlights and put outhouses on people’s porches. He said his older brother would often come home on Halloween night with many tales of narrowly escaping the police.

When I was a kid, Halloween was still a night of mischief, but just the basics. Car windows got waxed or soaped, houses got egged and pumpkins were smashed. When I was only five or six my older brother and his friend, both of whom were teens, were given the sad task of taking me and his friend’s younger brother out trick or treating. In hind site it was probably an effort to prevent them from soaping windows or egging houses. I remember getting a Batman costume. The old school kind with a plastic mask that smelled of chemicals, constricted your breath and made it near impossible to see.

I didn’t know the younger brother my brother’s friend, I think he was one year older, and would continuously yank my mask off and laugh the manic laugh of a six year old.  I was happy to be able to breath, but annoyed at him just the same. Eventually I gave up trying to keep the mask on and this allowed me to see the only clear memory I have of actual mischief and or vandalism. While walking down a particularly quiet street, a car came to a halt in the road near us as a few people jumped out. I saw two white blurs fly by my face before their shells cracked open on the sidewalk and porch. Not waiting to see if they hit their target, they laughed the manic laugh of teenagers who just got their drivers license and sped away.

The year after that I was in a new school and there was a little red (ish) haired girl in my class. I was enamored with her or wanted to be her best friend or whatever you feel for a girl at age six or seven. On Halloween she told me to come by her house so we could go Trick or Treating together. I was thrilled. I have no memory of what I was dressed as that year. The only thing that mattered was getting one of my brothers to take me out trick or treating. First stop, the house of the little red headed girl so we could beg for candy together! But when I got there, she and her mom told me that they had already done all their Trick or Treating. She didn’t say it in a cruel way, just the way a seven year-old girl who didn’t know she was crushing my heart says things.

I don’t think I dressed up for Halloween again until college. I was at a party at a big house rented by a good number of art students. The only memory I have of any costumes was that of my roommate at the time. He was dressed as a woman, but I remember that mostly because he dressed up as a woman pretty much every weekend and went to bars that the rest of us didn’t go to. At one point, the woman who lived there loudly told us all that her friend from Jamestown was coming to the party and she was bringing her band. They were a newish band called 10,000 Maniacs. Hours past before they apparently called the house again. Seems they were lost or drunk or really drunk. They were out there driving around lost and possibly intoxicated. I could be remembering this all wrong, but it sounded right at the time. They were a rock band, it seems like they should spend Halloween narrowly escaping the police.

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Funny Friday the 16th (Assuming you find something funny to read.)

My blog has a selective audience demographic that consists of
bored males between the ages of 21 and…21 who accidentally stumble onto my website because they think I’m the American
fashion designer known as Tim Hamilton.

I’m not the Fashion designer. I’m the Tim Hamilton who writes
fairly boring blog posts about the fact that I did some work in
the current issue of Sponge Bob comics for my favorite editor
(and second favorite spirit animal) Chris Duffy. I can’t post my Sponge Bob piece here (yes you’ll have to steal the issue from
your local 7 -11 to read all the great stories, please don’t steal
the hot dogs at 7-11, those could hurt you) but I can show you
what I DIDN’T do for Sponge Bob.

This is one of my rejected Ideas that didn’t make the cut. The
issue is the Halloween issue and thus, Chris wanted Candy
Corns and pirates. Ignoring him, I created this “Pirate Witch”
idea. You can read my VERY detailed and finalized drawing
I did below.

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Bob Sponge Comics are ® ™ AND ©Tim Hamilton 2015 just to
be clear. Look for the first issue in the coming year.

AND…

Despite the fact that she’s from a country that is volcanically active,
I love Bjork! Thus, I submitted this cartoon (below) about her to the New Yorker. It was rejected. I admit it is pretty silly. Mostly because we all know Matthew Barney would never marry a car mechanic.

bjork

 

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Friday (without theme song)

Summer usually means vacation, but I seem to be more busy than usual this month of July. So busy that I couldn’t finish composing the theme song I intended for today’s post. It would have been great! Trust me! I don’t even have time to write a post that is more than a few tweets long. All I can do I pull another rejected New Yorker cartoon from my hundreds of rejected cartoons and post it here in place of a meaningfully written post. Maybe my life will have meaning next week.  bell bottom club

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